Close Encounters
by The5000livi
Summary: Just a random bit of drabble I came up with, before I get to work on chapter 3 of IatP. I'm not really proud of it. Basically, Dib found Zim in a very, very awkward, but very familiar place. Oneshot.


It wasn't every day you woke up to see a strange green smudge sitting on your bed.

Dib blinked owlishly. It was just without his glasses that the thing looked like a blob that was going to eat his face, fortunately. Putting them on revealed that he was faced with a dog. A little green one he knew all too well. And it was wearing his coat.

The boy knew this was a delicate situation.

"GIR! Get off my bed!" he screamed, sitting bolt upright.

"EEEEE!" The little robot reeled and did a rather impressive somersault onto the floor.

"GIR…"

"HIII MARY! I GOTS YOUR COAT!" GIR grinned a grin that suggested this was indeed an amazing feat.

"Give that back…" Dib moaned, rubbing his temple. It was too early on a Saturday to be talking to an insane alien robot dressed as a dog.

GIR remained stock-still as he watched Dib struggle out of his bedcovers. Apparently even this was too much, and he soon broke into a fit of giggles.

"Come ooon…" Dib pouted at him. He tentatively began to reach out a hand for the coat.

And GIR was off like a missile. He streaked out of Dib's open door and disappeared down the hallway chorusing "MARY SMELLS LIKE A PUPPY!" (which amazingly Gaz managed to sleep through).

Dib swore and jumped out of bed, not bothering to put on his clothes. That little twat! He was going to get his trench coat back if he had to chase the thing all the way to Zim's base.

It turned out he did. Following the sound of insane giggling led him through the quiet streets, and it wasn't long before he caught a flash of green and the unmistakable swish of a cloak as the little dog turned into Zim's block. It wasn't long before he arrived, panting and sweaty in site of the morning chill, at Zim's door. He went charging in without a second thought, and just in time caught sight of GIR's legs disappearing into the garbage bin. Fine, TWO could play that game! In seconds, Dib was down another elevator and chasing the tiny android through the dark bowels of the alien's lab. GIR looked behind him, saw Dib catching up and squealed shrilly. And a very cross teenager wrestled him to the floor.

"Ahaha! AHAHAHA!" Dib triumphantly held up his prize. The coat was a little soiled, but it was all his again. GIR stared blankly at the lunatic before him, dancing around in his pyjamas with a dirty trench coat clutched to his chest. He shook his head disbelievingly, smiled, and went off to make tea for his pig.

Dib froze in the middle of his happy dance, as the full enormity of what he was doing _finally_ caught up with him.

God dammit, he was in ZIM'S BASE. With no camera, no weapon and sadly, no proper clothes either.

He swivelled his head to the left, picking up a faint noise. It was definitely Zim's voice. And he sounded…rather happy. Dib frowned. Usually when Zim sounded that happy, it was because he'd found a new way of attempting to destroy the humans.

The boy crept cautiously toward a small side door, where he could hear the alien's voice drifting out. Hang on. That scale, it could only be…_singing._ Why the hell would Zim sing?

Curiosity now dangerously sharp, the paranormal investigator quickly closed the gap between himself and the door. Maybe he could just take a peek…

He burst in and found himself face to face with Zim.

The alien had his head tipped back and his eyes were closed. His shoulders were lax, and some kind of liquid was sluicing over him from some alien faucet. And he was

Completely. Butt. Naked.

Dib's jaw was hanging loosely somewhere near his knees. He was pretty sure his heart stopped beating…or sped up…or something. He looked away (a little belatedly) and pinched at his wrist, hoping this was all some kind of hormonal dream. Nope. He looked up slowly – and two deep red, angry eyes met him.

Dib charged up that hallway like nothing on earth, fleeing in terror from the onslaught of curses the flustered Irken was sending after him. Zim himself came charging out – not even bothering with a towel – and Dib screamed, crawling desperately into the elevator. A couple of plasma blasts obliterated the ground where he'd just been. He stared with hunted eyes out at the furious Irken, who was bearing down on him like some mad, terrifying…thing.

"FILTHY PERVERTING DIB-BEAST! HORRIBLE MEAT BRAINED-SMELLY STINK WORM OF SM-…"

Dib stabbed desperately at the controls.

" OH, I'LL PULL ALL YOUR SMELLY ORGANS OUT THROUGH YOUR GARGANTUAN MEAT-CHILD HEAD, AND THEN I'LL…"

_Welcome. Which floor do you wish to align on?_

"JUST GET ME AWAY FROM HIM…!"

_Command recognised. _

The last thing Dib heard really shook him to the bone.

"Just you wait, Dib! One day I'll come around to your place and interrupt you in the middle of YOUR pathetic cleansing ritual!"

Damn.

Zim walking in on him in the shower. What a scary thought.

Dib could pretty much guess that he wasn't going to get much sleep tonight.


End file.
